Chapter 335: I Won’t Beg Forgiveness
The sound of her hand flopping on the bed alerted Raven. Looking over to Maria, her face half basking in the moonlight; a smile flitted over his life and he wasn't sure why. For a spell, their eyes met, but Maria quickly looked away to the side. She didn't wanna look at him or anyone for that matter as she knew what she'd done was beyond unforgivable.
"I won't beg forgiveness, you know?" Shifting her gaze back to the princess, she pulled herself up and sat on the bed. Squeezing her legs close with her arms, Maria rested her head on her knees and kept staring out of the bright window. "I didn't do anything wrong, anyone in my situation would've done the same…"
A wretched life of a harlot's child, then a princess who'd been cursed by a vampire, even married to a man with whom she never wished to bear a child, leading her to find greater men so that her children would be healthy rather than plagued and dying like she once was.
"Everyone in the castle thinks of me as an whore. A whore who sleeps with any man who can swing a sword.
If only they knew what I've been through they'll realize why I did what I did and why I thought I might as well try to enjoy it…" There was no remorse in Maria's voice, she truly believed that she'd done what was required of her, only the bare minimum for survival even if it meant staking the lives of thousands through the hands of a vampire.
Done saying her piece, she expected Raven to criticize her further. But instead, she felt a gentle hand wrapping around her fingers. Looking at it to the side, she noticed Raven squeezing her hand, it wasn't too hard so it wasn't a punishment, which to her was beyond surprising.
Find your next read on m_v l|e-NovelBin.net
"You keep saying that you don't regret it and that you won't change," looking into her eyes, Raven took a deep breath and heaved with a smile. "I've been thinking about what you've said so far all afternoon, and I can't figure out why someone who claims they don't regret a thing would want death as punishment."
As Raven's words lingered in the air, Maria's eyes squinted sharply with a hint of annoyance behind them. She didn't like what she was hearing, but she didn't know how to respond. Feeling another hand of Raven's moving on top of hers, she looked down and tried to pull back, but the mage held her firm.
Glancing back up, she stared at him, unsure of his intentions and not willing to be persuaded by his words.
"Tell me, Maria. If you don't regret a thing, why do you want to be punished? Why did you try to kill yourself? Why if you don't think you've done anything wrong, do you feel the need to explain yourself?"
"I Just–" Not even letting the words register in her head, Maria tried to lash out, but just couldn't come up with anything. Gritting her teeth shut, she continued to glare at Raven for a while before turning her head back to the window on the side. "Whatever, who cares? Just leave me and let me die."
Suddenly, she felt Raven's thumb rest on her chin and the next thing she knew, her head was turned to face him again. Inches from her face, he had her frozen in both mind and body and the stuck state only shattered when she felt him caressing her cheek.
"You're mine Maria, and you don't get to suddenly decide what happens to you, not if it's something so serious," moving even closer, the mage slapped her face but not too hard and neither too gently. "Repent first if you're so stuck on dying, I won't allow it to happen until you've made up for all the crimes you've committed on Atllaris."
Slapping his hand away, she tried to get off the bed, but grabbing her by the arm Raven pulled her back onto the bed. Maria continued to struggle and get his hands off of her, but his tight grip around her refused to loosen up even when she tried to bite his fingers.
"You're a pain in the ass!" She complained, scowling.
"Well so are you, but I'd rather you stay than waste your life with some stupid mistake," Raven shot back.
"You wanted me dead anyway! What the fuck changed?!" Maria continued on struggling, but Raven's hand just wouldn't let her slip away.
"You act tough and arrogant but I think there's a part of you that sees through it and wants to change."
"You need glasses then! I said I don't wanna change already!"
"Who said you have to?" Hearing those words, Maria's struggles abruptly halted. She didn't expect him to say that, especially since he was the one who brought up the talk about changing herself.
Letting her hands loose while in thought, she felt Raven's grip loosen up on her hand before eventually, the back of her palm hit the bed.
"I thought you wanted me to change…" She muttered, a bit curious about where things were headed.
"No," closing his eyes for a moment, Raven leaned away. "I don't, I just want you to unleash that monster in you in other ways or at people who deserve it. Usurping their power, their influence, I want you to hone that edge in you rather than abandoning it as if it's a curse and not a blessing that makes you unique like every dysfunctional member of this party."
It was time for a talk, one that Raven had had with Arche not too long ago. And just like him, the ex-queen needed to hear it.