Chapter 48: Chapter 43 The Privilege Called "Caprice"_2
"So, you see, you are not in the wrong – it was your mother who was not up to the task. When playing the roles of mother and daughter, she failed far more than you did."
Emerald Sparrow had said all this and, seeing Xia Liang trying to understand, she did not speak further, giving her time to digest it.
Xia Liang, in her repeated contemplation, found that she didn\'t know how to refute Emerald Sparrow.
"...In that case, what should I do?"
After a long silence, she said softly, "Even now that I realize all this, it\'s too late to make amends."
"I\'ve said before, it\'s not your fault to begin with, so what is there to mend?"
Feeling a headache over Xia Liang\'s obsession with this matter, Emerald Sparrow sighed, "If you really can\'t let go, then just keep it stored away for now and look forward."
Xia Liang remained silent, looking at her with a puzzled expression.
"Like I said before, how about learning to be willful first?"
Emerald Sparrow\'s tone softened as she lifted her index finger, "Not just smiling to please others, but learning to be a little selfish, to consider your own interests."
"That sounds a bit difficult."
Xia Liang forced a smile, her expression strained, "And even if I need to learn to be willful, how do I do it?"
"You can start by showing your true feelings to your teammates: Bai Mei and me."
Emerald Sparrow turned her lifted index finger to point at herself, "Even now, I am here."
"What?"
"I am an adult who can accept and tolerate willfulness, so you can try expressing the thoughts you\'ve suppressed, and I won\'t dislike you for it."
Emerald Sparrow offered her analysis calmly, "Whether you think my teaching is too strict, or my attitude too indifferent, start by voicing these things. Even if I might not accept them, it will definitely help us understand each other."
"Wow, that\'s amazing!"
Upon hearing this, Xia Liang showed something like admiration for the first time tonight, her tone even rose a little, "Junior, you really sound like an adult when you say that!"
"There\'s no \'sound like\', I am an adult, much older than all of you," Emerald Sparrow retorted, pulling down her eyelid.
"So, how should I begin?" Ignoring Emerald Sparrow\'s last remark and setting upon a new target, Xia Liang began to ponder.
"Start with everyday life, whether it\'s school or your Magical Girl companions, do you feel any dissatisfaction?" Emerald Sparrow offered her suggestion.
"I, I feel..."
Xia Liang looked up, seemingly thinking hard, "I feel... am I being ostracized?"
"At school?"
"...No, in the squad." Xia Liang glanced at Emerald Sparrow stealthily.
"The squad?"
It took a few seconds for Emerald Sparrow to grasp what Xia Liang was trying to say, and she arched an eyebrow, "Ostracized? Why do you feel that way?"
"Probably because Xiaolu is somewhat biased, no, Junior, you\'re biased too?"
As if she had figured out a crucial point, Xia Liang clapped her hands, stating confidently, "Right, both of you are biased!"
"Junior, even though you always seem cold to everyone, you always show a bit more care towards Xiaolu; Xiaolu is even worse, so enthusiastic towards you, Junior, but always fierce with me!"
Xia Liang\'s eyes widened, her speech accelerating, "Even though I find her behavior funny, being treated that way all the time can sometimes feel hurtful!"
Maybe it\'s because she finds angering her "funny" that she\'s being ostracized, she thought to herself, without uttering the words aloud. Emerald Sparrow looked at Xia Liang with some inexplicable expression, carefully choosing her words and acknowledging her sentiment:
"Bai Mei and I knew each other earlier, so we are indeed more familiar with each other."
"I don\'t think it\'s for that reason. The level of mutual concern between you and Xiaolu is definitely not that simple."
Xia Liang frowned, showing a rare sign of displeasure, "Xiaolu said that you saved her, so she admires you a lot. What about you, Junior? You say you are an adult, a mature Magical Girl, speaking of which, Xiaolu mentioned something about her father planning to remarry..."
At that, Xia Liang seemed to realize something, her face showing a mix of alarm and fear as she quickly covered her mouth.
But by then, it was clearly too late to perform that action, Emerald Sparrow had already taken three steps in two and moved in front of her, delivering a hard knock to her head.
"Ouch!" Xia Liang screamed.
"Recklessly slandering doesn\'t fall within the \'capricious\' category, talking nonsense comes with a price," she said.
Emerald Sparrow sat back on the sofa, arms crossed: "That was a warning, I didn\'t use much force, but next time it might not be the case."
"I won\'t dare next time," Xia Liang said, holding her forehead.
"Anyway, I admit that the problem you mentioned exists, so what do you want?"
Bringing the conversation back on track, Emerald Sparrow continued to ask, "To learn to be capricious, you first need to face your own true thoughts. You feel that I\'m biased, so how would you like me to change?"
"Let me think..."
Contemplating her response, Xia Liang said, "Maybe ask me when you have questions about the lessons during class? Don\'t just ask Xiaolu?"
"I\'ll pay attention," Emerald Sparrow nodded.
"Also, don\'t always notify me last when you find Remnant Beasts!"
"...Sorry."
"Just now during the study session, I actually didn\'t understand a lot of things!"
"I will teach you."
"When I do well in my magic power practice, praise me more, because I actually work very hard!"
"And there\'s more..."
As if opening the floodgates, Xia Liang began to list one demanding requirement after another as soon as she voiced the first.
Some of these requests were indeed things that Emerald Sparrow hadn\'t properly addressed, while others were trivial matters, things that Emerald Sparrow wouldn\'t have noticed unless Xia Liang voiced them at this moment.
Even though the usual Xia Liang appeared to be impulsive and outspoken, it was clear that this "impulsiveness" was also the result of careful consideration.
The one now rattling off these minor issues, was the true Xia Liang opening up her heart.
Summing up her thoughts, Xia Liang continued, while Emerald Sparrow occasionally expressed her own opinions, until Xia Liang had mentioned every single point she could think of.
"And the most important one!"
Xia Liang raised her head, her smile more genuine than ever before: "I, want to get along better and become closer with Xiaolu, and the senior!"
"Closer?"
This request puzzled Emerald Sparrow, who then explained, "Magical girl companions are already very close comrades-in-arms by nature, and as you gain more experience fighting side by side—even reaching my level of strength—our bond is destined to become very close."
"No, it\'s not that kind of closeness!"
Gesticulating with her hands, Xia Liang said, "Magical girl companions are a very important relationship, so we should be better than average friends, right? I want that more affectionate, heartwarming kind of..."
The kind that could fill the void of "love" caused by the fragmentation of her family.
Understanding what she meant, Emerald Sparrow internally completed the sentence for her.
Lacking love, yearning for love, Xia Liang, always pursuing connections with others, still hadn\'t felt "love." Therefore, she felt lonely.
What she sought from Emerald Sparrow and Lin Xiaolu was not only the bond between comrades or mentor and student but familial affection to fill the void of her absent family.
Perhaps, this was her clearest expression in her innocence: it seemed that she hoped their magical girl team could become her next "family."
It was exceedingly "capricious" of her to make such a presumptuous request after only a month of acquaintance.
"So, what exactly do you mean by closeness?"
Emerald Sparrow leaned forward on the couch, listening to Xia Liang\'s words.
Yet, it was precisely because of Xia Liang\'s nearly obsessive notion that she felt the girl before her was truly a child at heart with many naive ideas.
Hearing Emerald Sparrow\'s question, Xia Liang paused for a moment, then put her hands together and smiled sweetly and demurely.
"I\'ve mentioned it before, senior," she said.
Her eyes sparkled with a pleading look as she gazed at Emerald Sparrow:
"How about we sleep together tonight?"