BXBX NOVEL Chapter 245: As if I'm the innocent one
Still, it was something I knew I had to go through with anyway. And the only say in the matter that I had, was for when and where it would happen.
Today, deep in the forest, while I\'m busy fighting smaller parts of the greater whole of the human army, or tomorrow? Maybe the day after tomorrow?
"I\'m sorry dear, but it seems I really need to go and kill some more," I muttered, not sure exactly how Fay would react to those words.
Sure, it was perfectly normal for me to fight those who invaded her home… But would she still be happy with me if she saw just how bloodthirsty I was?
Even with our bond, even with the solid reason for why I wanted to kill some more people now… How could I expect anyone without a system to understand my position?
\'I can\'t ask for her understanding, that\'s for sure,\' I thought, gritting my teeth while I actively made sure to point my head in the direction that would disallow Fay from casting her eyes on my face.
Or so, such was my desire and my attempt. Yet, when Fay reached out and placed her hands on my cheeks, locking my head in an unbreakable hold before forcing my head to turn so I could properly face her…
"Ahahaaaa…." Fay released an exhausted… chuckle?
"Our bond is still spilling over," Fay added before I could even start coming up with a potential explanation for her laugh. "So I can pretty much tell what you are worried about." Fay sighed and shook her head a little. "Both in terms of your growth and what you will have to do to achieve it."
I gritted my teeth.
Fay\'s words perfectly nailed down the points I was worried about.
My growth and the bloody path it would take me on.
"I…" For a moment, I was at a loss for words.
Was Fay unhappy with my decision to get my hands really bloody? Or did she dislike the idea of me keeping that fact from her? Or, or, or…
"Honey, in all of those doubts, you still forget to consider one possibility."
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Once again, Fay\'s hands turned into a lock that held my head in place while she leaned down over my face and looked deep into my eyes.
"You are worried about how you hardly consider local humans… to be humans. You are worried about how I will think about you if you kill them with ease, without a single doubt about doing so."
Fay continued to stare right at my face for a little longer before letting go of my head, raising up, turning around, and taking a few steps away.
By the time I raised my chin to look at her in search of an answer to her peculiar behavior, she was already pacing around with a troubled look on her face.
From a few hundred paces away, the sounds of the ongoing battle continued to fill the air with screams, shouts, and all sorts of other noises.
Just a few hundred paces away, humans, divines, and celestials pulled no stops slaughtering each other. As if it wasn\'t happening at all, Fay continued to pace around while I continued to worry about what she was thinking about.
Sure, with our bond spilling out of our hold, I only needed to immerse myself into her thoughts to figure it out, but after all the effort we put into learning how to read the other without this cheat ability… It felt wrong to do so.
"Honey," Fay muttered when her stroll finally came to an end, leaving her just a single step away from where she started it. "I think you are still under a great misconception."
Taken aback by the approach Fay took, I raised my eyes and refocused them on her face, desperately searching for something, anything that would help me figure out the meaning behind her words.
"You are worried about getting your hands covered in blood… But what you are really worried about, is how that would affect my opinion of you, aren\'t you?"
Under the scrutiny of Fay\'s intense stare, I could only lower my head like a student undergoing a harsh lecture from a pissed-off teacher.
"You\'ve killed a lot of men, I\'ve killed more men than I could be bothered to count…" Fay shook her head, standing up straight despite how it made her an easy target for any straggler from the human army that would happen to run away in our direction.
Fay, as if hearing my thoughts, took one step forward before lowering herself down on her knees and squatting right in front of me, bringing our eyes to the same level.
Her hand shot forward… But this time, rather than locking my head in her grasp, Fay used just her forefinger, pressing it against the bottom of my chin while she gently brought my face up, forcing me to face the scrutiny of her eyes again.
"So tell me," Fay\'s voice turned into a whisper as her mouth moved so close to my face, that her lips started to brush against mine. "Why do you still act as if I\'m the innocent one?"
Fay breathed her question right into my face while locking her eyes with mine. And as I had no other choice but to stare into the two lakes of pristine blue…
Fay closed her eyes and shook her head, way before I could get enough of her face or figure out the answer to her question. Yet, when she opened her eyes again…
The look in her eyes changed. The vivid, pristine blue of her eyes was now marked… No, soiled by a hint of a color I\'ve never seen in her eyes before.
"I don\'t want you to hide anything from me, so it\'s only fair for me not to hide any part of myself from you either," Fay muttered, averting her eyes as she moved back up.
My head drove up, following Fay\'s movement… Only to watch her reach out and offer me her hand.
"Come on," Fay urged me with a peculiar look of determination in her eyes.
Reaching out, I accepted Fay\'s hand before letting her bring me back up to my feet.
"Where to?" With my brain somehow failing to make use of all the points I had in wisdom and intelligence whenever it came to Fay, I could do nothing but just follow her flow.
"To the battle," Fay shrugged her shoulders. "You need to reach your next rebirth while it\'s still relatively safe to do so," she stated, only to avert her eyes again and even turn herself around so that my eyes could not reach her face. "And I have something I need to show you."