Sworded Affair

"I used to sleep in the car all the time, and it never got this bad. Is this body defective?"

[That\'s a good question. I could check for you, if you\'re willing to link it to the System now. Do you have a class in mind?]

"Not really? I didn\'t get to choose last time; either time, I should say. What are the options when I\'m not dying, or high as a kite?"

[You\'ve not really fought in this body; nor done much of anything to be honest. You\'re looking at either the Apprentice class, which is a generic placeholder that lets you level up before changing class at a later date, or the Chef class.]

"What would it take to unlock extra classes, if I went with Apprentice?" Emma asked, ignoring the Chef option entirely; she had Epitaph for that, after all.

[You\'ll be notified when classes are unlocked for selection. Some become permanently available once you hit a certain threshold, for example a particular level or a certain amount of a particular stat. These tend to be the more common classes; someone who puts on armor and picks up a sword might get to choose between Knight and Blackguard, while someone who went for their guns might get Marksman as an example.

The rarer, more powerful classes tend to have more specific, time-limited requirements that you either accept or reject in the moment. You got Revenant for dying within a minute of System activation, and Chaos Conjurer before that for fighting nightmares while on a bad trip. Fairly typical examples, both of these; think of rare classes like hidden achievements. You\'ll know when you find one.]

"So I\'d be raising a second class entirely from scratch. Not the worst idea in theory, but a time sink for sure. Is there no way to link this body to my existing Damned Apostle class? I\'m not really strong enough to be comfortable thinking about multi-classing."

[Actually, that might be possible. You\'ll have to wait until the Solstice at Level 0 though, so hold that thought.]

Any further discussion was interrupted when Noah abruptly appeared in the living room, landing on the single-seat sofa in the corner and sinking into the soft padding.

The author\'s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

[You used Teleport to cut two minutes from your commute home?]

"I wouldn\'t have made it out of the office otherwise," Noah grimaced. "You know how academics can be, once they get started talking about their pet project, they can talk for days. I\'m not missing dinner for an extended lecture on optimal crop rotations."

[Well, your timing is on point.]

"Dinner\'s ready!"

Emma was quick on her feet, eager for a bit of comfort food, with Noah close behind as they filed into the dining room. Elizabeth had already set the table, with fine china plates and what Emma thought were genuine silver cutlery, given how heavy they were compared to the usual stainless steel.

[The Orient Special: An enchanted dinner set that cleans and packs itself away when the meal is done.]

Emma raised an eyebrow at that, though only briefly; her attention being mainly drawn to the meal itself. It didn\'t disappoint: a large baking tray filled with tender chicken breasts topped with bacon, garnished with fried onions and accompanied by a heaping side of mashed potatoes, beans and carrots. Suffice it to say, nobody spent any time talking for a good long while after that.

---

"What the hell?" Felix frowned, smacking the side of the screen.

It didn\'t help; what had been until now a clear image suddenly dissolving into a confusing kaleidoscope that resembled his old screensavers more than anything coherent.

"You were fine showing me Emma chewing for twenty minutes, but the moment she starts talking you die out on me? Useless piece of junk."

Chastising the screen didn\'t help any more than hitting it, to the despair of IT professionals everywhere.

"Frumentarii, switch surveillance from Emma Knight to Noah Knight."

This time, regular service did resume, now broadcasting in third-person view from the back of Noah\'s head instead, as he dug into a second portion of chicken. Only, it still wasn\'t entirely right.

"Frumentarii," Felix\'s eye twitched. "Why does my sister look like something out of a Lovecraft story? Switch view to Elizabeth Knight."

[ERROR 404]

"Designate Elizabeth Knight as an alternate and equivalent name to Elizabeth Faust. Goddamned Empire bureaucracy," Felix muttered under his breath.

The point of view bounced again, this time to Elizabeth, sat at the head of the table and busy adding some extra table salt to her meal. On the bright side, Emma no longer looked like something out of Innsmouth. On the other hand...

"Why is she a pony?" Felix facepalmed. "Frumentarii, refocus all surveillance on the Knight household. Someone\'s playing games here, and I want to get to the bottom of it."

Now, finally, Emma came back into view. An ordinary person, no hooves, no tentacles, just a normal teenage girl with red hair and green eyes, as she\'d been for the decade plus that Felix had known her.

"Hold on," Felix frowned. "Wasn\'t she a suit of armor last time?"

Before he could ask for clarification, Emma stood up and spun around, staring directly at his magical fly on the wall.

"Null and Void."

The screen caught on fire, accompanied by a shock wave that blew Felix clean off his chair and sent him sprawling into the desert sand.

---

"Has Felix been in touch at all?" Emma asked, as she retook her seat, reaching for more mashed potatoes.

"Not for several weeks; last I heard he was still busy working on his Dungeon," Elizabeth replied. "Why?"

"No reason."